Given the number of times Christians fall out over all manner of things, and churches end up divided it's a wonder that Jesus never taught anything about the value of relationships. Surely Jesus should have realised how detrimental to the spread of the good news bickering Christians would be. Didn't he see how unattractive it would be to have churches arguing between themselves and amongst themselves. You would have thought that he'd have predicted just how confusing it would be to people to have all kinds of denominations all teaching something slightly different.
This Sunday, in our journey through the Sermon on the Mount, we covered Matthew 5:13-32, which includes, among other things, sections on murder, adultery and divorce. Relationships are key, and anything that damages our relationships with each other needs to be seen for what it is - as serious as murder. And when we are a part of a broken relationship there is little that is more important than putting it right. Even if we are in the middle of church, and a person's name springs to mind - someone we have offended or upset or wronged - what does Jesus say? Sort it out and then come back. Get up, go and make the call, visit them, do whatever it takes on your part to put things right.
There is little that is more important than right relationships. And don't put it off until later - do it now...yes you - do it now - stop reading this blog and make the call. Sort it out. You can come back and listen to the message later!
To listen to this message click here
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Jumping to Conclusions
Can you remember an occasion when someone jumped to conclusions about you? They didn't give you the benefit of the doubt...they thought the worst or you - rather than the best. How did it make you feel? Angry, sad, let down, frustrated, worthless, disappointed, wanting to give up...
Another question - can you remember an occasion when you've jumped to conclusions...about someone else? How do you think it made them feel?
In Joshua 22 we read a story of how some of the tribes in Israel jumped to a wrong conclusion about some of their brothers and almost went to war over what was essentially a misunderstanding arising from a lack of proper communication. And because they weren't talking they assumed the worst, they didn't give the benefit of the doubt, they jumped to conclusions.
But fortunately they started talking before they started fighting, and everything was sorted out.
Our world is full of tribes. We like to belong and in a tribe we have that belonging. We are 'in' and the rest are 'out'. We put boundaries around the tribe, things that mark the difference between 'us' and 'them'. And these tribes exist in the church too. Tribes like young/old, male/female, black/white, traditional/modern, old timers/new comers, doers/talkers ... And when we are with those from a different tribe in the church it can be very easy to jump to conclusions, think the worst, and not give the benefit of the doubt - because proper communication is not happening. Both sides may be talking but is anyone listening?
Whether it is in church, at home, in the office, family relationships, husband/wife ... we need to make sure that we are talking face to face (and listening). When you next have an 'issue' with someone go and talk to them face to face before things get out of hand. And don't jump to conclusions, do give them the benefit of the doubt and do think the best rather than the worst of them.
Another question - can you remember an occasion when you've jumped to conclusions...about someone else? How do you think it made them feel?
In Joshua 22 we read a story of how some of the tribes in Israel jumped to a wrong conclusion about some of their brothers and almost went to war over what was essentially a misunderstanding arising from a lack of proper communication. And because they weren't talking they assumed the worst, they didn't give the benefit of the doubt, they jumped to conclusions.
But fortunately they started talking before they started fighting, and everything was sorted out.
Our world is full of tribes. We like to belong and in a tribe we have that belonging. We are 'in' and the rest are 'out'. We put boundaries around the tribe, things that mark the difference between 'us' and 'them'. And these tribes exist in the church too. Tribes like young/old, male/female, black/white, traditional/modern, old timers/new comers, doers/talkers ... And when we are with those from a different tribe in the church it can be very easy to jump to conclusions, think the worst, and not give the benefit of the doubt - because proper communication is not happening. Both sides may be talking but is anyone listening?
Whether it is in church, at home, in the office, family relationships, husband/wife ... we need to make sure that we are talking face to face (and listening). When you next have an 'issue' with someone go and talk to them face to face before things get out of hand. And don't jump to conclusions, do give them the benefit of the doubt and do think the best rather than the worst of them.
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Why do teenage girls spend forever on the phone?
Have you ever wondered why teenage girls spend so long on the phone—even to friends that they last saw at school only 5 minutes ago? Or why when they get in from school they need to get on to Facebook or MSN in order to ‘chat’ to the friends that they’re talking to on their mobiles, even though they last saw them 5 minutes ago at school.? Have you ever watched an episode of Big Brother and wondered why on earth any sensible person would watch a bunch of people living in a house, night after night after night?
The answer, I think, is the Trinity.
God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is love. And by understanding God as three in one we can understand that within God there is relationship. We have been created in the image of God and therefore we are created for relationship. There is a sense in which we crave relationships—because we have been made that way. But the society in which we live, here in London in 2008, seems to be pulling us away from meaningful relationships.
Families spend less and less time together as parents are forced into a situation where both parents work shifts in order to pay the bills as the cost of living continues to rise. Others choose to work long hours in pursuit of the ideal job, car, house... We live next to people who we don't know. We don't get involved with them and they don't get involved with us - and they'll have moved on within a few months anyway. It is a sad reflection on our society that we have to teach our children not to talk to strangers. We have created a society in which people are too afraid to care: last week a young child was seen crawling out of a Mothercare store and towards their car park - this was seen by a passerby whose response was not to pick up the child but to alert a member of staff - to pick up the child could have led to all kinds of repercussions - we conclude that it's best just not to get involved.
And yet we are created to be in relationships, to have friends, to be part of a community. What is our culture's answer? Not to reflect critically on itself but to create virtual friends and communities. To give us reality TV so each summer we can spend weeks 'getting to know' and sharing a house with a bunch of Big Brother hopefuls.
But are virtual relationships and communities a bad thing? Does it matter whether I talk to someone face to face or over the Internet? What do you think?
The answer, I think, is the Trinity.
God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is love. And by understanding God as three in one we can understand that within God there is relationship. We have been created in the image of God and therefore we are created for relationship. There is a sense in which we crave relationships—because we have been made that way. But the society in which we live, here in London in 2008, seems to be pulling us away from meaningful relationships.
Families spend less and less time together as parents are forced into a situation where both parents work shifts in order to pay the bills as the cost of living continues to rise. Others choose to work long hours in pursuit of the ideal job, car, house... We live next to people who we don't know. We don't get involved with them and they don't get involved with us - and they'll have moved on within a few months anyway. It is a sad reflection on our society that we have to teach our children not to talk to strangers. We have created a society in which people are too afraid to care: last week a young child was seen crawling out of a Mothercare store and towards their car park - this was seen by a passerby whose response was not to pick up the child but to alert a member of staff - to pick up the child could have led to all kinds of repercussions - we conclude that it's best just not to get involved.
And yet we are created to be in relationships, to have friends, to be part of a community. What is our culture's answer? Not to reflect critically on itself but to create virtual friends and communities. To give us reality TV so each summer we can spend weeks 'getting to know' and sharing a house with a bunch of Big Brother hopefuls.
But are virtual relationships and communities a bad thing? Does it matter whether I talk to someone face to face or over the Internet? What do you think?
Saturday, 19 January 2008
The Good Samaritan - an Oxymoron
For most of the people listening to Jesus (Luke 10:25-37) there was no such thing as a Good Samaritan. There were plenty of Samaritans, but 'good' was not a suitable adjective to describe any of them.
Jesus has been involved in a discussion about eternal life, loving God, loving your neighbour, and 'just who is my neighbour?' And to help us get it he tells that well known story of the Good Samaritan. The man who helps a fellow human being who is in need, simply because he is in need and he can help - irrespective of what it will cost him, irrespective of the inconvenience, irrespective of the cultural or religious barriers that potentially could get in the way. Jesus is showing us, by painting this picture, that our love for God is demonstrated in the way we love others - even those who we may consider to be our enemies. The two (loving God - loving others) can't be separated from each other.
There are (at least) four levels of response we can make to any parable. 1) Nice story. 2) Nice story - but I wonder what the point is? 3) If that's the point - what does it mean for me? 4) Actually making a life-style change in the light of the point of the parable.
One of the dangers with a parable like this is that we easily answer levels 1-3, but when it comes to level 4 we generalise - so we talk about terrorists, rapists, murderers... But I don't believe that is the point Jesus is making. Jesus is saying that your neighbour is that person in need who you are going to come across tomorrow. They might be your best friend. They might be that person who really winds you up. They might be the atheist who is always having a go at your faith. They may even be a Man. Utd. fan. Who they are is irrelevant. What is important is that you demonstrate your love for God by the way you meet their need. Or do you cross over the road and leave it to someone else?
What difference would it make to the point of the story if the Samaritan got robbed and was helped by an ordinary Jew? The main point, I believe, would be the same. But, with the story as Jesus told it, we are alerted to the danger of painting whole groups of people with the same brush. We live, here in London, in a very multicultural, multi faith environment. And it can be very easy to adopt stereotypes. But that's wrong. Within every community there are individuals who will demonstrate compassion and love toward those who are in need. Young people, for example, generally get a really bad press - whenever they're in the news it's to do with drugs, drink, knives, guns, stealing, threatening behaviour, antisocial behaviour... But that is only a small fraction of the whole picture.
To listen to this message from Keith click here. This message included the Nooma DVD 009 Bullhorn by Rob Bell. For copyright reasons this has been removed from the audio. To see an extract from this short video click here.
Jesus has been involved in a discussion about eternal life, loving God, loving your neighbour, and 'just who is my neighbour?' And to help us get it he tells that well known story of the Good Samaritan. The man who helps a fellow human being who is in need, simply because he is in need and he can help - irrespective of what it will cost him, irrespective of the inconvenience, irrespective of the cultural or religious barriers that potentially could get in the way. Jesus is showing us, by painting this picture, that our love for God is demonstrated in the way we love others - even those who we may consider to be our enemies. The two (loving God - loving others) can't be separated from each other.
There are (at least) four levels of response we can make to any parable. 1) Nice story. 2) Nice story - but I wonder what the point is? 3) If that's the point - what does it mean for me? 4) Actually making a life-style change in the light of the point of the parable.
One of the dangers with a parable like this is that we easily answer levels 1-3, but when it comes to level 4 we generalise - so we talk about terrorists, rapists, murderers... But I don't believe that is the point Jesus is making. Jesus is saying that your neighbour is that person in need who you are going to come across tomorrow. They might be your best friend. They might be that person who really winds you up. They might be the atheist who is always having a go at your faith. They may even be a Man. Utd. fan. Who they are is irrelevant. What is important is that you demonstrate your love for God by the way you meet their need. Or do you cross over the road and leave it to someone else?
What difference would it make to the point of the story if the Samaritan got robbed and was helped by an ordinary Jew? The main point, I believe, would be the same. But, with the story as Jesus told it, we are alerted to the danger of painting whole groups of people with the same brush. We live, here in London, in a very multicultural, multi faith environment. And it can be very easy to adopt stereotypes. But that's wrong. Within every community there are individuals who will demonstrate compassion and love toward those who are in need. Young people, for example, generally get a really bad press - whenever they're in the news it's to do with drugs, drink, knives, guns, stealing, threatening behaviour, antisocial behaviour... But that is only a small fraction of the whole picture.
To listen to this message from Keith click here. This message included the Nooma DVD 009 Bullhorn by Rob Bell. For copyright reasons this has been removed from the audio. To see an extract from this short video click here.
Thursday, 9 August 2007
A Great Weekend
Just in case you're wondering where I've been - we've just got back from a great week's holiday in glorious Devon, which also included my little sister's wedding. It was a really good day, even if I had to work for part of it!
The address was based loosely on Fast Food outlets and not so loosely on Ephesians 4:20-32. So here are a few fast food alternatives for a healthy marriage.
1. Feelings and Choices rather than Fish and Chips. (Eph. 4:23 and 2 Cor. 5:17)
So many people base their life decisions on little more than feelings. And this can have serious consequences on any relationship. For the Christian we are having our mind renewed by God and therefore should think differently. Love is a choice - not just a feeling.
2. Bedtime Kiss rather than Burger King. (Eph. 4:26)
It is important that within a marriage a couple do not allow themselves to go to bed angry with each other. There are times when neither will want to take the first step towards an apology and reconciliation but it is vital that someone does. As head of the home I believe it is the husband's responsibility to make that first more.
When we were not interested in God he made the first move sending Jesus to die for us - so when we make the first move towards peace we are in good company.
3. Practical Help rather than Pizza Hut. (Eph. 4:28)
We all need to be doing something useful with our hands and it is important that both husband and wife play an equal (not necessarily the same) role in the relationship. If something needs doing - then do it.
4. Kindness, Forgiveness and Compassion rather than KFC. (Eph. 4:32)
We need to be kind in all that we do, and especially in what we say. We need to be aware of the needs of those around us and act accordingly - Jesus often saw and had compassion. And forgiveness is vital for any relationship to be a success as we all make mistakes and get things wrong. Once again Jesus is our example - having forgiven us so much he asks us to forgive each other.
Following the service other suggestions were given to me. Keep Following Christ for KFC for example. Maybe you have others you want to add.
The address was based loosely on Fast Food outlets and not so loosely on Ephesians 4:20-32. So here are a few fast food alternatives for a healthy marriage.
1. Feelings and Choices rather than Fish and Chips. (Eph. 4:23 and 2 Cor. 5:17)
So many people base their life decisions on little more than feelings. And this can have serious consequences on any relationship. For the Christian we are having our mind renewed by God and therefore should think differently. Love is a choice - not just a feeling.
2. Bedtime Kiss rather than Burger King. (Eph. 4:26)
It is important that within a marriage a couple do not allow themselves to go to bed angry with each other. There are times when neither will want to take the first step towards an apology and reconciliation but it is vital that someone does. As head of the home I believe it is the husband's responsibility to make that first more.
When we were not interested in God he made the first move sending Jesus to die for us - so when we make the first move towards peace we are in good company.
3. Practical Help rather than Pizza Hut. (Eph. 4:28)
We all need to be doing something useful with our hands and it is important that both husband and wife play an equal (not necessarily the same) role in the relationship. If something needs doing - then do it.
4. Kindness, Forgiveness and Compassion rather than KFC. (Eph. 4:32)
We need to be kind in all that we do, and especially in what we say. We need to be aware of the needs of those around us and act accordingly - Jesus often saw and had compassion. And forgiveness is vital for any relationship to be a success as we all make mistakes and get things wrong. Once again Jesus is our example - having forgiven us so much he asks us to forgive each other.
Following the service other suggestions were given to me. Keep Following Christ for KFC for example. Maybe you have others you want to add.
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