There are some bits of the Bible that cause a strong reaction in us. This is often because of our past experience. Yesterday morning we looked at 1 Peter 3:1-7, a passage which like Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:18-19 gives teaching on Christian marriage. But there is a lot there to turn people off and cause a strong negative reaction.
For a start there are many today who see marriage as an irrelevance, something that is out of date, and un-necessary.
Any mention of 'wives...submit to your husbands' and reference to wives as 'the weaker partner' will cause others to blow a fuse!
So is it possible to promote New Testament (NT) teaching on marriage is a way that will engage with people today?
Peter's context is that he is speaking to people who are already disciples of Jesus. People who have come to see that they are not defined by their colour, their class, their status in society, their gender, their role in the home - instead they are defined by the fact that they are chosen by God, called by God, loved by God, a part of the people of God...
And when we see ourselves in this light, the instruction to submit (which is not just confined in the NT to wives or women - see for example Ephesians 5:21), is not so daunting. When we have insecurities about who we are, we react badly when anyone tries to tell us what to do - we feel we have to be stronger than them - this is often what is going on with the workplace bully for example. But when we are secure that we are a child of God, it makes no difference whether I am at the top or the bottom, because my identity is secure in Jesus.
Also as a follower of Jesus we follow the one who took on the role of a servant and washed his disciples' feet (John 13) and who in obedience to his Father went all the way to the cross. Jesus calls us to a life of service. And this is as true for husbands as it is for wives. So within a Christian marriage we look to serve each other, and to put the needs of each other first. Surely one of the reasons so many relationships break down is because each partner is putting their own needs first, rather than looking for every opportunity to serve.
Finally as a follower of Jesus one of my priorities is to make sure that his reputation is not damaged by my actions. When the NT teaches on marriage there is of course a cultural angle - it was written within first century Greek and Roman culture. And the concern of people like Peter and Paul was that a Christian household should not bring un-necessary harm to the reputation and name of Jesus. So whilst there are things in the culture that need to be challenged and addressed (the mis-treatment of women for example), there are other things that need to be maintained (appropriate forms of dress and hairstyles for example) so as not to bring un-necessary bad publicity to the church and to Jesus. This is something that we all need to bear in mind, not just in our marriages, but in the work place, in the home and in the church.
